Dependence
Over the last few weeks I’ve said many times, “For us, there is a cliff at the end of 2005.” We cannot see any further than December 2005, when Dan finishes his coursework. Many peoples’ lives are planned out – as best as they can be – many years into the future. They buy a home, start a family, and settle into a job and a community. We gave that up this year. The home we were living in has been sold. We’ve left behind our jobs and our incomes. We remain in touch with our family and friends through e-mail and an occasional phone call. Many of our belongings were sold or given away, and those we kept are scattered throughout the world (8 homes, 5 states, and 2 countries at last count).
But what is amazing to me is how at peace I feel with my life. There are days when I am lonely. And there are days when I worry. And there are days when I want to be able to understand the people around me. But those days are far outnumbered by the days I feel complete contentment.
As I have thought and prayed about this, I’ve come to realize that this peace and contentment is from experiencing complete dependence on my Lord. My life is not my own. I’ve known that since I turned my life over to Him 10 years ago. But now, I am experiencing that concept on a completely new level.
I suppose our expatriate experience is somewhat different than others’ experiences may be. We are students, here temporarily. We are doing this largely on faith, in order to begin some sort of ministry wrapped in economic development, and we want to stay in Europe long-term. But I think that anyone who moves to a different culture, far away from their family and friends, would have to admit that they are more dependent on others helping them than they were in their home country.
How could an expatriate not be? We get letters in the mail weekly that are in Dutch. Our meager means of translating them doesn’t always work, so we must ask for help to understand them. We don’t understand the Dutch “systems”, so it would be incredibly easy to be taken advantage of. Fortunately, we don’t think that’s happened to us yet!
Although we’ve met many very nice strangers who have helped us along, I know without a doubt that God has put those people in our path. The many “coincidences” we experience (a trailer “just” big enough to get everything in; customs releasing our shipment “just” when we could arrange to move it to a new apartment), I know God, who is watching over us, orchestrates them. And if God cares enough about the little things, like leading us to nice strangers, then he certainly won't let us fall off that cliff in December!
But what is amazing to me is how at peace I feel with my life. There are days when I am lonely. And there are days when I worry. And there are days when I want to be able to understand the people around me. But those days are far outnumbered by the days I feel complete contentment.
As I have thought and prayed about this, I’ve come to realize that this peace and contentment is from experiencing complete dependence on my Lord. My life is not my own. I’ve known that since I turned my life over to Him 10 years ago. But now, I am experiencing that concept on a completely new level.
I suppose our expatriate experience is somewhat different than others’ experiences may be. We are students, here temporarily. We are doing this largely on faith, in order to begin some sort of ministry wrapped in economic development, and we want to stay in Europe long-term. But I think that anyone who moves to a different culture, far away from their family and friends, would have to admit that they are more dependent on others helping them than they were in their home country.
How could an expatriate not be? We get letters in the mail weekly that are in Dutch. Our meager means of translating them doesn’t always work, so we must ask for help to understand them. We don’t understand the Dutch “systems”, so it would be incredibly easy to be taken advantage of. Fortunately, we don’t think that’s happened to us yet!
Although we’ve met many very nice strangers who have helped us along, I know without a doubt that God has put those people in our path. The many “coincidences” we experience (a trailer “just” big enough to get everything in; customs releasing our shipment “just” when we could arrange to move it to a new apartment), I know God, who is watching over us, orchestrates them. And if God cares enough about the little things, like leading us to nice strangers, then he certainly won't let us fall off that cliff in December!
posted by Beth at 6:18 PM
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