Follow-Up to “The American Couple” Newspaper Ads

Sometimes, Dan and I questioned whether or not we were being too picky about our parameters of where to live. In the end, it was pretty amazing how many people were gracious to open up their homes and extra apartments to us. Yet, there were several non-negotiables that made us say, “No thank you.” Based on our experiences, here is our suggested advertisement for our next house hunt to help us avoid some of the agony again.

“The American Couple is looking for a house – again. Please do not bother to call
1) If you will not allow small mammals, particularly cats and children
2) If you do not allow daily bathing and weekly washing of clothes
3) If you do not have a freezer in operating condition
4) If there is not a refrigerator larger than 1 cubic meter for us to use
5) If using the bathroom requires using 40 stairs in a spiral staircase and traversing a large, public hall
6) If the home’s floors are currently concrete and you require The American Couple to tile or carpet them prior to moving in
7) If the bedroom cannot accommodate a 6-foot man standing up
8) If the bed cannot accommodate him lying down
9) If you are not near public transportation or within bicycling distance to their place of work (according the AMERICAN standard)
10) If the living quarters will be shared with people undergoing psychological evaluations
11) If they are required to be roommates to 8-legged creatures.